为什么女人喜欢黄瓜

Roger Moore and Stacey Keach star in this Italian-American co-production, and try to be the Martin and Lewis of 70's crime exploitation cinema. The rigor mortis of Roger Moore was never more noticeable as it is here, playing the straight man next to the Keach's easygoing rouge. It's a rather stale exploitation film, with the typical one liners, car chases, shoot outs, and gratuitously bad dubbing of the Italian actors. The film does have one great highlight when Keach takes a gangster's car for a test drive, and in hair-raising fashion, wrecks it through the streets of San Francisco. Unfortunately, it all doesn't work- the comedy isn't funny enough, neither Keach or Moore are particularly convincing (especially Moore, who is as dry as a desert), the violence and stuntwork is middling, the story isn't very engaging, and the ending is painfully banal. There may be just enough `so bad it's good' work that 70's exploitation fans may be entertained, but no one would call it great. Roger Moore and Stacey Keach star in this Italian-American co-production, and try to be the Martin and Lewis of 70's crime exploitation cinema. The rigor mortis of Roger Moore was never more noticeable as it is here, playing the straight man next to the Keach's easygoing rouge. It's a rather stale exploitation film, with the typical one liners, car chases, shoot outs, and gratuitously bad dubbing of the Italian actors. The film does have one great highlight when Keach takes a gangster's car for a test drive, and in hair-raising fashion, wrecks it through the streets of San Francisco. Unfortunately, it all doesn't work- the comedy isn't funny enough, neither Keach or Moore are particularly convincing (especially Moore, who is as dry as a desert), the violence and stuntwork is middling, the story isn't very engaging, and the ending is painfully banal. There may be just enough `so bad it's good' work that 70's exploitation fans may be entertained, but no one would call it great. Ryu, a low life thug, along with his mother, steals a shipment of drugs. Now with 实习医生(shēng )方洁（林(🕑)青(qīng )霞）是(🥋)位俏佳人(rén )。许多(🔖)男“病(bìng )人(🤱)”慕貌而来(lá(✖)i )。路一鸣（邓(🏝)光(guā(🎈)ng )荣）真患感(🎱)(gǎn )冒(mào )，来(🗜)找方医(yī )生(👓)看病，也被当(dāng )成(📗)捣乱者…(🥃)…(👖)邂逅相识(🐄)，路(lù )一鸣开(😸)始追(🎪)求(qiú )方(fāng )医(📱)生。但方(fā(✖)ng )医(🐍)生拒之千(🌪)里(lǐ )。无奈下，路的(🐙)(de )朋友屡次使(🌚)(shǐ )用(yòng )“狼(🅰)来了”的招数(🦒)，诓骗(🌪)方(fāng )医(yī )生(🎲)给路看“病”，以(💵)求一(🔛)(yī )见(jiàn )……其中，误(wù(👀) )会接二连三(🌵)(sān )，情节颇为戏剧(🏧)(jù )。整个影(💗)片节(jiē )奏明(🏤)快，搞笑(xiào )不(🈁)断。是(🤕)一部十(shí )分(🔻)好看的电(🆗)(diàn )影(yǐng )。 A man accidentally learns that he has a mystical connection with sharks, and is given a strange medallion by a shaman. Becoming more and more alienated from normal society, he develops an ability... 老夫(🙇)子（王沙）一觉(🍝)醒来(lái )，见(🎂)已(🖌)是日上(shà(💪)ng )三竿，急忙催(🏴)(cuī )醒(👥)仍熟睡的大(🤱)(dà )蕃(fān )薯(🐯)（(🌺)矮冬瓜(guā(🚾) )）。二人忙乱(luàn )一(😲)(yī )番，便去做(🍶)晨(chén )运。 　(🏫)　在(zài )树(shù(💰) )林旷(🕷)地中，老夫子(🏙)打出少林(lí(🌒)n )拳(quá(🧖)n )招式，挥拳(quán )踢腿之际(🛷)，裤(kù )裆(dāng )突(🌨)然裂开，情(qíng )状至(🆖)为狼狈(bè(👌)i )。幸而大蕃薯(📷)早(zǎo )就为他(🌅)备有(🙄)另(lìng )一条裤(🈳)子，让(ràng )他(❤)换上，始未贻(🌧)(yí )笑大方。时(shí )有(♟)(yǒu )一漂亮(💍)女(🌃)郎(láng )在附(🔆)近做柔软体(🐐)(tǐ )操(👵)，一飞仔对(duì(🍔) )之蠢蠢欲(✌)动(🤵)。老夫子立(🐤)即上(shàng )前(qián )负起(🤧)「护花(huā )」(🆙)之责，但反(🧞)(fǎn )被(bèi )飞仔(🏾)打得(🌿)天旋(xuán )地转(🛳)。幸好(hǎo )该(gā(🚽)i )女郎(🚵)功夫不凡，将飞仔击退(🎂)(tuì )。 　　老夫(😗)子(zǐ )坐在公园长(🎁)椅(yǐ )上(shà(🕒)ng )休息，无意间(👤)(jiān )坐於旁一(✨)位(wè(🌓)i )文(wén )弱书生(😂)，居然(rán )亮(🐶)刀向他行劫(👀)(jié )。老夫子乃交(jiā(😲)o )出一张五(🍅)百(🥀)元大(dà )钞(🛅)，书生接(jiē )得(🆓)(dé )钱(🎣)即飞步离(lí(👫) )去。老夫子(🔳)见(🌥)计(jì )得酬(✉)，开怀大(dà )笑，盖那(💶)是伪(wěi )钞也(🔣)！岂知，未(wè(💷)i )几又有一名(📇)(míng )歹(👘)徒前来行劫(🏥)(jié )，老夫子只(⬆)得把(bǎ )身上的真钞(chāo )交(jiā(🉑)o )出，好不懊丧(👽)！ 　　老夫子(zǐ )前(🔧)(qián )往公司(🤙)上班(bān )，由於(🔊)很多人(rén )抢(🎨)(qiǎng )著(🔑)搭巴士，老(lǎ(✅)o )夫子时而(😫)帮(bāng )助(zhù )妇(🤖)孺，时而又(yòu )被壮(🍬)汉挤开，弄(✍)得(🐃)来过好几(🆔)(jǐ )辆巴士都(🆙)搭不(🕙)上(shàng )，反而闹(🛐)出(chū )连(liá(❕)n )场(🌦)笑话。迨(dà(💨)i )去到赵氏洋行时(🚓)(shí )，已迟到十(🌄)五(wǔ )分钟(🔢)，遭赵经(jīng )理(🧐)严词(🌾)指责。 　　赵(🕹)经理垂(chuí )涎(🐐)职员陈小姐(jiě )（李菁）的(📃)姿色(sè )，特将(🐛)她叫(jiào )进(jìn )经理(🏉)室去，色迷(🦏)迷加上一番(🕯)(fān )甜(tián )言蜜(🍼)语。老(🗑)(lǎo )夫子却偏(🎍)偏藉(jiè )故(🔑)(gù )作梗。赵经(💢)理(lǐ )怒不可遏，声(❕)(shēng )称要开(😯)除(🎺)老夫(fū )子(📫)。老夫子不(bú(🐗) )惧淫(🐚)威，谓他(tā )昨(📪)晚曾目睹(⭐)赵(🔃)偕(xié )一女(🍳)子进某(mǒu )酒(jiǔ )店(📞)，当向赵(zhào )妻(🛷)报告。争持(🧞)间(jiān )，赵妻来(🔺)到，赵(💌)经理当即换(📻)(huàn )上另一副(🗒)面孔，对妻子谓老(lǎo )夫子如(🚒)何解救(jiù )了(👞)(le )他之遇劫之类(lè(🔆)i )，且声言除(🎳)(chú )给(gěi )老夫(🕶)子加薪五百(🌼)大元(🎽)外，还(hái )升(shē(🌾)ng )他当主任(🆙)，老夫子闻言(😥)好(hǎo )不(bú )高兴。怎(😿)知赵(zhào )妻(🚷)一(🚍)走，赵(zhào )便(🍽)(biàn )向老夫子(🕣)施以(🕹)(yǐ )拳脚，直把(⛔)他(tā )打得(🛴)遍(🕕)体鳞伤(shā(🏡)ng )，并将他开除。 　　(⚪)老夫子(zǐ )前(❌)(qián )往大蕃(❣)薯跌(diē )打医(📑)馆求(🔺)医。大(dà )蕃薯(🍴)专医奇难(ná(🚬)n )杂症，医术果(guǒ )也了得。老夫(📤)子(zǐ )身上之(👞)伤痛(tòng )，当然很轻(💀)易(yì )便(bià(🍺)n )被他治好。大(✨)(dà )蕃薯且对(🎺)老(lǎ(🏹)o )夫(fū )子之被(🐟)开除安慰(🥝)一番，约他(tā(🍚) )同(tóng )去跟秦先生(🧣)(shēng )（刘陆(🔖)华(🐏)）饮(yǐn )下(🔠)(xià )午茶聊天(🤘)以解(🛣)(jiě )不快。 　　(👥)秦(qín )先生(🍛)年(🥩)近三十(shí(💳) )，虽对林小姐(jiě )（(🦊)庄莉）甚是(🛳)(shì )爱慕，但(👳)始终无(wú )法(🔰)追到(💑)手。大(dà )蕃薯(🐇)又鉴於(yú )陈(🕑)小姐对老夫子(zǐ )的印象甚(🐣)佳，乃鼓励他(🌟)们二(èr )人积极向(🦉)意中人(ré(🍒)n )展开追求攻(🏾)(gōng )势，且认为(🍦)追(zhuī(🤾) )女(nǚ )子需讲(🚝)究策略(luè(🦁) )，有的放矢(shǐ(💸) )，乃特授以「锦囊(😄)妙计」。秦(🗡)(qí(📆)n )先(xiān )生与(🚼)老夫子(zǐ )俱(🦍)依「(🍙)计」去(qù )做(🈶)(zuò )，不料同(📷)告(👥)碰(pèng )壁，盖(🎃)彼此(cǐ )之(zhī )「锦(🐜)囊」调换(huà(🖥)n )了也！後查(🐣)出(chū )失败症(🌧)结，重(chóng )整旗鼓，秦(🥙)先生(shēng )与老(🕔)夫子遂(suí )得(dé )以跟各自的(📑)(de )意中人把臂(🥩)同游(yóu ). 　　一日(🌷)，老(lǎo )夫子与陈小姐(jiě(🐞) )在树下喁喁(😇)谈心(xīn )，树上突然(💺)(rán )跳下一(📘)位又胖(pàng )又(🆎)(yòu )丑的女子来，一(🖱)把将老夫(fū(📅) )子(zǐ )搂住(👰)。原来，那是老(🎌)夫子的(de )表(biǎo )妹，一(✅)直痴(chī )缠(🚕)老(❤)夫子，老(lǎ(🕗)o )夫(fū )子对她非常(🔥)讨(tǎo )厌。现她(💟)居(jū )然(rá(🥓)n )搂住老夫子(🈂)，状似亲热，陈(chén )小(🚀)姐误以为老(🎠)(lǎo )夫子另有心上人(rén )，怒而(🔢)离去(qù )，声称(🍌)与老夫(fū )子的关(🕦)系一刀两(liǎng )断。 　　老(🐫)夫(fū )子失去(🔤)陈小姐(jiě )，闷闷不(🛍)乐，大(dà )蕃(🌁)薯与秦先(xiā(🌠)n )生约他一同去(qù(😡) )钓(diào )鱼解闷(🖲)。没想(xiǎng )到(📤)赵经理也(yě(🔼) )到(dào )湖边垂钓，却(🍮)遇一帮飞(🕡)仔(🏢)打(dǎ )劫(jié(💕) )，老夫子奋(fèn )起营(🕣)救，赵乃(nǎi )有(🚲)(yǒu )惊无险(📼)。因此(cǐ )，赵在(🏰)感激(jī )之(zhī )中，叫(📻)老夫子(zǐ )重(🐊)新到公司去(qù )上班，老夫子(📚)(zǐ )喜不自胜(📓)。而陈(chén )小姐在老(🚕)夫(fū )子(zǐ )的「愿以一(🧤)(yī )死明志」(🐩)下，也(yě )恢复了跟(📃)老夫(fū )子(🦏)相爱至笃。 　(😯)　老夫子与陈(ché(👬)n )小姐结婚之(🙇)(zhī )日到了(🛤)，秦先(xiān )生(shē(🔸)ng )当伴郎，林小(xiǎo )姐(🕺)作伴娘，大(♟)(dà(🛤) )蕃薯是证(🎏)婚人，一齐乘著一(🏮)(yī )架(jià )大花(🎏)车去接(jiē(🈲) )新娘，不料一(🔔)(yī )帮(bāng )歹徒居然(✒)以奇(qí )谋妙(🈲)计劫新(xīn )娘(niáng )车，因而引起(⛲)(qǐ )一波三折(🏹)，险(xiǎn )象纷呈。最後(🏫)(hòu )老夫子和大番薯(shǔ(🔲) )开溜了。 一(yī(🔀) )对(duì )男女相爱，男(🗽)主人公，开(🥑)车(chē )（好像(🍵)是摩托(tuō )车）带(🐐)女的出(chū )外(☔)游玩遇到(🚄)下雨(yǔ )天躲(😕)进一个(gè )似乎是(👌)山洞的(de )地(🎟)(dì(🎟) )方避雨（(⏳)里面(miàn )有些怪异(🏌)的(de )塑(sù )像）(🎉)，两人在那(🚋)里发生了关(🍹)(guān )系(xì )，就在这时(💝)(shí )一个鬼魂(🧟)上了(le )女(nǚ )方的身，怀上(shàng )了(⛏)鬼胎，鬼(guǐ )胎(🎪)(tāi )出生后长大到(🐃)(dào )5 6岁时候有人欺(qī )负(🏻)她的母亲这(✂)(zhè )个小女孩就在(🙌)晚(wǎn )上杀(⚪)这个坏(huài )人(👆)(rén )（还杀过其(qí(🎱) )他人），女孩(🍙)杀(shā )人前(🛳)都是爬在(zà(🕑)i )自己的房间的(de )地(☔)板上身材(🐣)变(🚔)大(dà )的。面(😉)相很(hěn )恐怖两颗(🛑)白色(sè )獠(liá(🏽)o )牙漏在唇(👷)外。后来似乎(🕤)把(bǎ )他(tā )父亲也(📌)杀了，但是没(🚭)有杀她(tā )母(mǔ )亲 神秘宅邸(🔹)(dǐ )的主人莱(🏚)昂内(nèi )尔(ěr )·吐(😐)温（杜鲁(lǔ )门·卡波(👡)特(tè ) Truman Capote饰(shì )）(🧒)邀请五位世(shì )界(🗽)著名的侦(🚧)探(tàn )来到古(🏔)堡出席(xí )一场神(🎓)秘的晚宴(yà(🏿)n )。他们分别(📃)(bié )是(shì )纽约(🈳)业余侦(zhēn )探迪克(🥠)·查尔斯(🔤)(sī(😑) )顿（大卫(🌑)·尼(ní )文 David Niven饰），比(〰)利(lì )时侦探(👵)米洛·比(🚤)(bǐ )埃尔（詹(🕯)姆(mǔ )斯·可可 James Coco饰(🤟)），上海检查(🍸)员西(xī )德尼·王（彼(bǐ )得(🌸)·塞勒斯 Peter Sellers饰(🚛)），英国人杰(jié )西(👔)(xī )卡·马波尔(ěr )（爱(😄)尔莎·兰(lá(🏯)n )切(qiē )斯特 Elsa Lanchester饰）小(🎬)姐(jiě )和来(🤳)自旧金(jīn )山(📣)(shān )的萨姆·戴蒙(🈁)(méng )德（彼得(🛡)·法(fǎ )尔(🕡)克 Peter Falk饰）。没(mé(🤡)i )人知道这次凶险(🚪)(xiǎn )异常的(🍓)邀(🐬)约(yuē )背(bè(🛃)i )后到底隐藏(cáng )着(😍)什么样的杀(😳)机(jī )，但这(🍣)五位侦(zhēn )探(🚏)们还是各自(zì )带(🍴)上一位亲属(🗜)或(huò )朋友来到了(le )这座神秘(🦖)的宅(zhái )邸(dǐ(🎅) )。然而莱昂内(nèi )尔(🍲)并没有现(xiàn )身(shēn )，等待(✌)他们的是一(🦄)连串被精(jīng )心(xī(🍅)n )设计过的(🚀)谋(móu )杀事件(💆)。 掌管(guǎn )着(zhe )桑家事(🚜)业的桑(sāng )文(🤔)薏（林凤(💪)(fèng )娇(jiāo ) 饰）(🏹)，与妹妹(mèi )桑文珊(📙)（恬妞(niū(🚫) ) 饰(🥠)）相依为(📖)生(shēng )，家中还有彭(🤾)管(guǎn )家阿德(👶)（葛(gě )香(🍝)(xiāng )亭 饰）与(🚰)佣人健次（王德(🔺)志(zhì ) 饰）和(😚)他怀孕(yùn )的老婆阿梅（沈(🍊)时华 饰）。某(🐴)(mǒu )天，文薏与(yǔ )文(🏮)珊在骑马的途(tú )中，遇(📨)见新来(lái )的(🦏)大胡子邻居(jū )莫(🍋)迪卡（秦(🏛)汉 饰）。虽然(🎖)莫(mò )迪(dí )卡耿直(🎦)粗鲁(lǔ )的态(🚎)度，让高傲(⏰)(ào )的桑文薏(🐌)感到(dào )不悦，却也(🦆)吸(xī )引了(🏨)她(🎭)的注意(yì(🛌) )。二十岁的文(wén )珊(🍩)一直生活在(🌕)(zài )文薏的(📩)保护底下(xià(🏠) )，公司总经(jīng )理(lǐ(🏨) )伟立人（邹(🌝)森 饰）建(💣)议让文(wén )珊进公(👔)司工作(zuò )，但(😩)是文薏拒(jù )绝了(🌄)。