2014小品搞笑大全

一(✈)年(niá(😣)n )一度的(😊)圣(shè(📯)ng )诞节再次(cì )到来，加(jiā(🤥) )拿大一(yī )幢(🏨)由民(🍣)宅改建的校(😃)(xiào )外女子(zǐ )宿舍中，芭(💊)布（(🔬)Margot Kidder 饰(shì )）(🐬)、菲(🍏)利(lì )丝（Andrea Martin 饰(🎂)(shì )）、杰西(xī )卡（Olivia Hussey 饰(💃)）、(💠)克莱(lái )尔（(🧗)Lynne Griffin 饰）等几名(😛)青(qīng )春靓丽的(👶)(de )女孩正(😄)为各(🦌)自的(de )假期作(🏺)打(dǎ )算。突(tū(♟) )然，一通(tōng )神秘(🦓)的电(diàn )话打(🚫)破了(le )这欢乐(🔍)的(de )气(🕺)氛。性情莽(😄)撞(zhuàng )的芭布(👋)斥责电话另(🚓)一头(🌒)的(de )男人(🔙)，而男(🥜)人则留(liú )下“将(jiāng )来杀(🈳)死你(nǐ )们”的(🛀)恐(kǒ(🌵)ng )怖话语。当晚(🐳)，克莱尔在房间内被(bè(🛹)i )人残(🖲)忍(rěn )杀(🔺)害。克(⛷)莱尔的死(sǐ(🥟) )令宿舍的(de )姐妹们(men )既伤(⭐)心又(⚡)(yòu )恐惧，然(rá(🆘)n )而警方(fāng )却(🔲)将精力集中在(🔥)另(lìng )一(🌞)名13岁(🛫)女(nǚ )孩的失(🈁)踪案上，对克(🍊)莱尔(ěr )之死未(🤐)(wèi )给予太多(🚃)(duō )关注。在(zà(🥁)i )接下来的(de )一段(🚶)时间(jiān )内，舍(🌄)(shě )监麦克夫(🆔)(fū )人(❔)（Marian Waldman 饰）(🕜)随即(🛍)遇害，而犯(fàn )人竟然长(🍌)久以来栖(qī(👲) )身在(🙆)这(zhè )所房子(🐀)之(zhī )中。一段(duàn )隐藏多(😀)年(nián )的灰暗(🗄)(àn )血(😉)腥的过去随(🚀)之慢(màn )慢浮现(xiàn )……(🌮) 米拉(💒)在很小的(de )时(⏭)候就为(wéi )了(♟)家族(zú )的兴旺被(bèi )父(👧)母给(🌊)定(dìng )了婚事(⏩)(shì )，但美丽的(✋)卡米拉(lā )在成(🚿)年后(hòu )爱上(🍱)了别人，由(yó(🐅)u )于她对家(jiā )族的不(bú )忠，被(📂)父(fù )母送到(😱)了(le )修道院被(🥣)(bèi )迫(🐵)做了修(xiū(🔟) )女，美(měi )丽的(💔)卡米(mǐ )拉不(🔁)甘忍(🤥)受修道院清(👗)心寡(guǎ )欲的非人生活(👋)曾多(duō )次偷(💷)情(qí(🐧)ng )，为了自(zì )由(👚)和爱情(qíng )她付出了(le )…(🙀)… The first story, The Husband, directed by John B. Murray, was written by Craig McGregor and deals with the jealously of a man over Harry, who seems to be quite friendly with his wife. Full of daydreams, he is comforted by his wife (Elke Neidhardt) who assures him that his suspicions are unfounded. But are they? 麻(💈)(má )醉医生李(💮)志华（祝(zhù(🗾) )希娟 饰(shì )）作为巡回(🎞)医疗(🐈)队(duì )的医院(♈)正(zhèng )在钢厂(🦂)(chǎng )的高温熔(ró(🦖)ng )炉前挥汗(hà(🦔)n )如雨，突然一(💒)位工人高喊(hǎn )她的名字(zì(🔸) )，原来钢铁厂(🎠)的(de )老杨师傅(☝)(fù )的(❤)心脏(zāng )病(🍆)又复发(fā )了(🦋)。闻听(tīng )此言(📣)，李(lǐ(🎳) )医生连忙(má(🍘)ng )离开炼(liàn )钢炉，乘(chéng )坐(🍆)救护车来到(😉)上海(👢)某医院(yuàn )的(😳)急诊室。李医生(shēng )认为(🛵)杨(yá(👚)ng )师傅已经(jī(👏)ng )开过一刀(dā(🚡)o )，而且再(zài )度复发(fā )，形(🌷)势十(🏩)分严峻，需要(🌡)尽(jìn )快开始(🔻)治疗。然而(ér )外(🌗)科副组(zǔ )长(📖)罗医(yī )生（(💱)邱世(shì )繐 饰）则(zé )认为观(🔷)(guān )察几天后(🚖)可以让老(lǎ(🤯)o )杨师(🍶)傅回(huí )去(🦁)。李医生对此(🥏)(cǐ )表示不满(🐈)(mǎn )，她(❤)认(rèn )为罗医(💯)生(shēng )思想保守(shǒu )，害怕(🏒)承(chéng )担责任(🏔)，并且(🐭)提(tí )出大胆(🌖)设(shè )想，希望用针刺麻(🧚)醉手(🏰)术(shù )治疗老(🗞)杨师傅。罗(luó(🦌) )医生为(wéi )了给针刺(cì(🤯) )麻醉(🎴)大会(huì )献礼(❔)，打(dǎ )算选择(🗾)(zé )成功可能性(🏐)比较大(dà )的(😷)病人(rén )进行(💻)手术。两位医(yī )生在手术(shù(🔗) )台前发(fā )生(🍉)了争执(zhí )…(🌡)… "I Wish You Love" offers a time capsule of Miss Dietrich's legendary stage act. The television special was taped in London over two days and later edited to a one-hour concert version. Dietrich wasn't pleased with the final result, saying that it "ain't as good," not on a par with her usual exellence. Still, if this late Dietrich concert doesn't show the diva at her most brilliant, it is still fascinating to watch her cast her spell over an audience and the artful way in which she manoevures their every emotion with her choreographed moves and song. She sings some of her old movie songs, war ballads and love songs. Highlights include her rendition of "Where have all the flowers gone." Written by Wolfie ハ(💭)ンター朱(💵)(zhū )実を総番(🥋)長とする、(🚺)赤羽(🏠)駅(yì )を中心(⛴)としたスケ番グルー(🚴)プ“赤羽百人(📩)(rén )会(🅱)”は、池袋の(🏾)クラブの鷹(yīng )を総番(📳)(fān )長(🗒)とする“池袋(🥩)騎兵隊”との(🍘)戦いに敗北を重ねて(🌠)いた(✈)。田(tián )口由紀(👧)子(zǐ )、通称(🕺)音(yīn )無し由紀(🕵)(jì )子と呼(hū(🍾) )ばれる赤羽(⛑)百人会(huì )の番格(gé )が、女(🤑)子特別少年(🧟)(nián )院を退院(🗿)(yuàn )し(🦕)た。由紀子(🔞)の頭には焼(🥢)(shāo )きついて(💓)離れ(🈸)ない二人の(❓)名があった。一人は恋(🥠)人(rén )の勝と(🤭)、少(🥠)年院(yuàn )で対(🎸)立し決着のつかなか(🍎)った(🛂)アラブの鷹(🆓)だった。冷(lě(😳)ng )たく感情を表わさな(🤙)いア(🥫)ラブの鷹に(🥅)由紀子(zǐ )は(🚧)、一(yī )種の憧(🔅)憬(jǐng )と闘争(⛴)心(xīn )を燃や(😖)しつづけていた。赤羽に戻(🐏)(tì )った由(yó(🔲)u )紀子は、朱(🏟)実と(👨)アラブの(🍲)鷹(yīng )との総(🥔)(zǒng )番長同士(😂)(shì )の(📏)対マンの話(📎)を取り決めるべく、(🦊)使者をかっ(💭)て池(🎷)袋へ行くが(🌦)、池袋(dài )騎兵隊(duì )の(💌)激し(🐯)い攻撃を受(📢)(shòu )け目的を(💤)果せなかった。その頃(🏗)、由(🍇)紀子は城北(♍)睦(mù )会のち(📥)んぴらになっ(🦔)ていた勝と(😠)再(zài )会した(⏺)。勝の兄貴分・沖田は、か(🐏)つてアラブ(🆎)の鷹に頬を(👧)切(qiē(🏋) )られ復讐(🏹)の機会を狙(⚫)っている。あ(🕳)る日(🚷)、沖田は騎(🌞)兵(bīng )隊のリンダを捕(🛌)え、アラブ(🥙)の鷹(😴)の居場所を(🥇)聞き出(chū )そうとする(✍)が、(🍙)口を割らな(🐜)いため惨殺(🎉)した。警察ではこの事(💹)件は(🚐)由(yóu )紀子の(🔌)仕わざだと(🚺)疑った。だが、(🏿)沖田の仕(shì(👉) )わざと見抜(🍃)いていたアラブの鷹は、(💸)沖田(tián )を襲(🗣)うが失敗す(🎐)る。一(🦊)方(fāng )、由(❣)紀子は、ア(💭)ラブの鷹を(🔨)つい(🏿)に探しあて(🖊)た。荒川(chuān )堤。二(èr )人は(🎹)向かいあっ(🏇)た。激(🌨)しい応酬の(🐵)末、由紀(jì )子はアラ(🔻)ブの(🏆)鷹(yīng )を倒し(👝)た。だが、現(🍝)われた沖田と勝は、(🔋)病(bì(💄)ng )院へ運ぶと(🕓)言い残して(🚃)アラブの鷹(yī(😲)ng )を連れてい(🎞)った。沖田は(🔬)永年の怨(yuàn )みを動かぬア(🥍)ラブの鷹の(➖)体に加え、(🌃)勝に(🍥)犯(fàn )させ(⏪)、麻薬を射(🔩)ちこんだ。証(🥄)拠不(💗)(bú )十分で釈(🎛)放された由紀子(zǐ )が(🥨)街に戻って(💗)来た(🔷)。そして、ソ(🧢)ープランドで働かせ(🕠)られ(🕯)ているアラ(🍾)ブの鷹を見(🗃)つけた。由紀(jì )子は勝(⛑)を問(🆑)いつめるが(🔀)、彼はシラ(🎏)を切る。翌日、(🙄)勝のアパー(🌻)トを訪(fǎng )れ(🖌)た沖(chòng )田は、ライフルに(😒)胸を射抜か(📽)れ血(xuè )に染(🛎)まっ(🎊)た。そして(🚏)、信(xìn )じら(🍻)れない顔つ(🚒)きで(🎵)由紀子(zǐ )を(💡)見つめる勝に向って(😒)、由紀子(zǐ(🐻) )はゆ(Ⓜ)っくりと引(🎓)金(jīn )を引いた…… While some Italian crime films (particularly post-1977 ones) are just mindless violence (particularly violence against women), many pre-1977 ones are serious commentary on corruption and the justice system in Italy...and by extension to other Western countries. THE BIG FAMILY is such a film. The Mob is in charge at the film's beginning, the Mob is in charge at the film's end. Anyone who challenges it is killed or somehow taken out of the picture. A police inspector or prosecutor who is making progress may suddenly get the offer of a significant promotion...to another part of the country. Every branch of the government...and the church...is compromised. American businessman Richard Conte can come to Sicily hoping to do some construction projects and thinking that his friendship with the Don back in New York will help him here and that he doesn't have to play by the local rules. An honest cop works hard and makes countless sacrifices, and many good people die because he keeps on his quest. Eventually, he nabs the top man...and it turns out he has achieved nothing and he is back at square one. Even the top man is expendable to the overall survival of the big family. I was impressed by this film when I saw it fifteen years ago, and I'm still impressed with it today. It has enough action to satisfy any fan of 1970's Italian crime films, one of the most exciting genres in film history, but it also has a sobering message, one that is relevant to anyone watching the film anywhere. Although both CROSS CURRENT and GREAT TREASURE HUNT have their moments, THE BIG FAMILY is probably Tonino Ricci's most successful film as a director (I haven't seen his recent family films, although I especially want to see the Buck film with John Savage, nor have I seen the shark film with Treat Williams). Highly recommended to fans of the genre and those willing to see the value in a dubbed genre film. 《决(📸)战猩(🍾)球(qiú )》（Battle for the Planet of the Apes） 1973年(💝)(nián ) 2678年，猿(yuán )族(🦅)教授在讲述凯撒(sā )当(🤳)年的(🏩)故(gù )事，那是(🍖)在2015年，猿族中(🍥)发(fā )生叛乱，大(🖼)猩猩(xīng )们在(🚢)将军(jun1 )艾多（(🕹)General Aldo）的带领下(xià )和一群(qún )发(🚷)生变异(yì )的(🏎)人类一同意(📡)图推(🦀)翻凯撒(sā(🥛) )的领导，决战(📋)开始(shǐ )了...