玉蒲团之玉女心经

ＯＬ・恵子は、仕事帰りに突(tū )然(🏰)見知らぬ男(📬)に拉致され(🚈)る。しかし、(🧒)その男こそ(🥣)が、売れない孤(🐢)高(gāo )の画家(🔩)・岡(gāng )田で(🌩)あった。恵(huì(🏍) )子をモデル(🤪)に作(zuò )品を描き上げようとする岡田と(👤)、地(dì )獄の(🥓)状況から何(🎈)(hé )とか抜け(🙆)出そうと試(🥢)(shì )み(💗)る恵子。そし(🥋)て、岡田の(🏨)妻が現れた(👲)ことで事態(📨)は思わぬ方向(xiàng )へ進み出し…… 朴荷英(🎽)是一名男(ná(🏚)n )性泌尿科的(🉑)医生(shēng )，每日(🛑)接触着各(gè(🕊) )种男性患者。因(yī(🏨)n )为不(bú )喜欢(👑)男人的(de )自大(🏷)(dà )与不尊重(🍆)女(nǚ )性，独立(🔗)自主的(de )她决(jué )定通过人工(gōng )授精(jīng )来实(🕥)现自己渴望(🌉)(wàng )有一(yī )个(👽)孩子的心(xī(🍒)n )愿。这时候一(🏬)名(mí(😻)ng )叫做(zuò )申贤(🕦)宇的记(jì )者(🛣)因(yīn )为一篇(🔽)以“无法勃起(🎳)的男人跟使用精子库受精的女强人直接(💦)的关(guān )系” 为(💲)主题的报(bà(🍘)o )道找到她，并(🍡)且(qiě )对她一(⛎)见倾心，展开了各(🔨)种方式(shì )的(😃)追求。荷英一(⏫)(yī )开始(shǐ )对(😧)贤宇并无(wú(🔤) )男女(nǚ )的好感，甚(shèn )至为(wéi )贤宇的纠缠(chá(🤬)n )而不(bú )悦，还(🚷)企图(tú )利用(🍩)(yòng )职务之便(🏷)戏弄贤(xián )宇(🆖)来(lá(😀)i )赶走她。然(rá(🗡)n )而荷(hé )英未(💚)能预料(liào )，意(📆)(yì )外闯入她(⏹)生(shēng )活的(de )贤宇在潜移(yí )默化(huà )中改变着(🔲)她以往的生(🏮)活方式和许(🛩)多观念，荷英(🔵)对(duì )贤宇渐(⭐)生情愫。一次二人(🥜)坐过山(shān )车(🔞)，贤宇因为荷(🏝)(hé )英晕倒而(🥖)意外得(dé )知(🧠)了她怀孕的事(shì )情，一时间陷入(rù )了感(gǎ(🌫)n )情和伦理的(🗨)(de )挣扎(zhā )，而眼(🙇)见荷(hé )英的(🌑)(de )孕期也逐渐(😄)(jiàn )临(➕)近(jìn )… Two Beoples have scandalous sexy times. Underachieving, overweight kindergarten teacher Dex finds a woman who forces him to reexamine his Zen-like system of seduction. Фо(🗝)ма Арч(🙀)илови(🐒)ч — кап(🐍)итан и владелец сухо(🎱)груза(🆔) «Форт(🆕)уна» —(⏹) живёт(🔉), перебив(🐓)аясь с(🏪)лучай(🎻)ными з(🐫)арабо(😘)тками. Появляется кл(🏷)иент —(😾) Вадим(🤑), и они о(⛰)тправ(💬)ляются в(🆔) путь п(🧠)о Волг(🏢)е. По до(😒)роге Вадим должен женитьс(🦅)я на Ма(🏻)ше. Пра(🎀)вда, ве(🔳)нчание н(🚪)а её ро(🥖)дине н(🈺)е удаё(🏜)тся — п(🌒)остоянно вмешивают(🎇)ся обс(🚒)тояте(🤯)льств(⛰)а. А на с(🌱)удне мол(🥟)одым с(🛁)танов(👥)ится н(🍌)у очень уж невтерпёж, и капи(🅱)тан об(👼)ъявля(🖲)ет их м(🌐)ужем и же(🥍)ной… Ｏ(🏀)Ｌ・恵子は(🏺)、仕事帰り(➗)に突(tū )然見(⚫)知らぬ男に拉致される。しかし、その男(⏭)こそが、売(✌)れない孤高(🚻)(gāo )の画家・(🐛)岡(gāng )田であ(👩)った。恵(huì )子をモ(🈹)デルに作品(👱)を描き上げ(🛑)ようとする(👚)岡田と、地(dì )獄の状況から何(hé )とか抜け出そうと(✳)試(shì )みる恵(🏺)子。そして、(🏨)岡田の妻が(⬆)現れたことで事(👀)態は思わぬ(🔙)方向(xiàng )へ進(🔫)み出し……(😳) You can't hold too much against this knowing that it was made in four days, and I had expected it to be campy anyway. (It's not all that campy in reality. With the exception of Kevin Kalisher and Huntley Ritter, who don't take themselves seriously, the rest of the cast plays it halfway straight; Riley Smith is exceptionally bad.) The ridiculous story is actually paid attention to, which kind of shocked me; I assumed the whole purpose with these ultra-low-budget horror movies was to cater to the basest sexual fantasies and not give a damn about the story, but they use lots of words like "technological" and "physicality" in the script to get their point across. (Although it's possible that the story is important only to explain why there's so few cast members.) Nobody cares about this stupid storyline, and the only things that are interesting in the film are the mocking of cults and the soft-core homoeroticisms (which aren't all that edgy). I would have enjoyed it more if there were just some random killings for no reason. The film is grainy, with a TV-quality look and acting level. There are a few "sexy" scenes that are alright -- the boys writhing in bed in their boxers, feeling themselves up; or being tied down and making orgasmic faces while wine is poured on them -- and some of them are kinda funny. And I liked the digs at L. Ron Hubbard and the intended irony of a story about religious cultists told with intense gay overtones, but it still isn't any good. 3/10 Alone in the chapel of hope on Christmas Eve Reverend Bernice hates Christmas,since her mother was carried off by Papa Lazarou disguised as Santa Claus when she was a child. She has three visitors. The first is Charlie Hull,convinced from his recurring nightmare that his wife Stella is using a voodoo coven called the Solutions to stop him winning the line-dance contest. Then an old man who visited Herr Lipp and his wife in 1975 recounts the saga of Lipp's fascination with cute young choirboy Matthew and his belief that Lipp was a vampire. Finally Chinnery comes to unburden himself as to why he is such a bad vet. In Victorian times his great-great-grandfather,the finest vet in England,came to Royston Vasey but was tricked into touching the wrong monkey's testicle,as a result of which all succeeding vets in the family have been cursed. Bernice feels happier after consoling Chinnery but she is unaware that history is about to repeat itself. 截杀南极星(🧑)号 Under Pressure 史(shǐ )上一桩无头公案(àn )「女神雕像」(🌚)，是人(rén )人梦(🚗)想的无(wú )价(🐴)珍(zhēn )宝。在前(🆕)往(wǎng )莱斯(sī(🐂) )沃小岛的旅(lǚ )程(🚪)中(zhōng )，一个全(😣)副(fù )武装(zhuā(🍄)ng )的军队正严(🐇)密地(dì )保护(hù )国宝。贝特(tè )的潜(qián )水艇南极星(xīng )号暗(✏)(àn )暗接近，一(🔔)(yī )个受(shòu )军(🌪)队保护的(de )国(🔅)宝(bǎo )──「女神(🕍)雕像」，他早(🕐)在军中的安(♍)排内奸，以便(💦)控制住这艘(🏃)船(chuán )。 Saturday Night Live: Season 26, Episode 2